Books Are OK in My Book

by Mike Votava

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about

These are all songs inspired by books. Written and performed for The Bushwick Book Club Seattle.

Recorded these songs in my studio. It was fun.

credits

released August 7, 2016

written by Mike Votava
produced by Mike Votava
recorded at MJV Studios
Seattle, WA

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license

all rights reserved

about

Mike Votava Seattle, Washington

Mike Votava is an artist. He writes songs, he performs, he rocks out. People seem to like it. You will too.

Mike lives in Seattle at the House of Pain.

Don't be surprised if he calls you a ding dong. That's just how he talks.
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Track Name: Zombie Reagan
ZOMBIE REAGAN - lyrics

Saving 24 million dollars on a glass of milk
Watch the President at the conference denying milk was spilt
Spend the people’s hard earned money on Trident Submarines
For protection from Russian birth marks and warheads firing

The zombie apocalypse is right around the bend
Corporate America will be standing in the end
Giant hair and 80’s butt rock bands will rock again
With Ronald Reagan returning from the dead

Zombie Reagan
Wants to eat my brains
Zombie Reagan
Looks a lot like regular Reagan

Nancy says that my military’s the biggest she’s ever seen
And I know that Yakov Smirnoff would probably agree
Shooting lasers from outer space now I could go for that
But how was I to know that the Star Wars program
Would be a stupid piece of crap
Track Name: The Optometrist Convention
Were you thinking of me
when you were fucking in outerspace?
sadly, it doesn’t matter
because I’ll still love you anyways

Racing to the hospital
driving so hysterical
breathing toxins trapped inside
I am dead and you’re still alive

You must have been kind of crazy
for ever wanting to marry me
now you have lots of money
and you’re the king of optometry

celebrate our honeymoon
I promise I’ll lose weight for you
magic fingers on your spine
I am dead but you’re still alive

The crowd is going wild
Billy is taking a leak
Montana Wildhack is fixing something to eat

Billy, I adore you
I am so happy hear come the tears
I’m sorry that I’m a fatty
I can’t stop eating Three Musketeers

Cadillac El Corado Coupe Deville
slumped against the steering wheel
unpleasant moment lodged in time
I am dead and you’re still alive

Cancel the optometrist convention
only one survived
the Sugarbush mountain side
Track Name: Darcy's In the House
I am a handsome man
and you’re a handsome lady
oh won’t you take my hand
but only for one dance
then I’ll ignore you
pretend you don’t exist
feel free yak about
my lack of social skills
so disagreeable

200 pages in
you still don’t know my first name
I know you’re not to blame
ms. Austen help me out
it is Fitzwilliam
the master of Pemberley
You may remember me as the man who’ll take you down

Darcy’s in the house
I weigh ten thousand pounds
are you gonna marry me
we’re gonna find out

Too many sisters in the room
driving me crazy
especially Katie
Judy Mary Dawn and Amy
Sleep on the floor for ten years
stomp on my head
it won’t wake me up
my mom can wash my hair
it won’t wake me up

You think that I’m a jerk
well I find this surprising
I know you’ll come around
and I’ve known it from the start
Standing in front of me
making a mockery
your mom would not agree with the way you use that mouth
mama said knock you out
Mrs Bennet said knock you out

One day we’ll laugh about
refusing my proposal
and how you hated me
and all my stupid guts
You are my future
my lovely creature
my pride is champion
while your prejudice is dumb
Track Name: Stuck There
You’re the best
the best around
no one’s ever gonna take you down
Karate Kid
about to unleash the mighty crane kick

Raise your arms above your head
you just ran up a million stairs
Rocky Balboa
I think you’re gonna go the distance
Evil queen, magic wand
decorating her front lawn

try to strike a pose if you want
so when your body turns to rock
you’re looking good, show some style
before you turn to stone
put your thoughts onto someone that you love
‘cause you’ll be stuck there for awhile

He’s on the move
shit is going down
Santa Claus is finally coming to town
and he’s got presents
deadly weapons for small children

here them sing
the birds are out
the taste of Turkish Delight fades from your mouth
the snow is melting
Spring is here the Winter’s over

Lion’s breath is all it takes
the ugly giant is now awake
Track Name: Feynman Leap
EYNMAN LEAP - lyrics

I don’t really care
That I won the Nobel prize
I’d rather close my eyes
And try to get some sleep tonight
Take it off the hook
Don’t bother me again with all this nonsense

You memorized the books
You memorized the words
But you don’t know what they mean
I think that’s absurd
and that’s the reason why
Brazilian science is a fucking joke

There’s a master of quantum physics
By the name of Samuel becket
One day he will leap into me
Right before I give a lecture

The atomic bomb
Is right here in this box
This combination lock
It’s not enough to stop
Somebody like me
from breaking in and reading all your secrets

what a worthless bitch
what a stupid whore
I’m not buying her a drink
I don’t do that anymore
She’s still coming home with me
Because All I have to do is ask her

He says “oh boy”, surprised to find
He’s Shaking hands with albert Einstein
His friend Al’s a hologram
That’s why the car can pass right thru him

Teach me how to draw
Show me how to shade
Somebody will pay me
To draw these naked ladies
I’ll put it in a frame
So you can hang it in your office

you think that you’re so smart
Well, I am not convinced
What took you many years
I learned in fifteen minutes
This map of a cat
Will show me the location of the whiskers

Dr. Becket is changing lives
He Answers to a higher power
Setting right what once went wrong
He hopes his next leap will be his leap home
Track Name: Outsider
OUTSIDER - lyrics

I know you’re not the greaser type
I’ve seen you running with those social guys
my hair is slicked way back
and I come from the wrong side of the tracks
Sweet baby, you know I’m tuff
but I’m not too tuff for your love

I’m an outsider
outside your heart
please let me in so the lovin can start
I’m an outsider
not like the rest
baby get ready for the Ponyboy express

I’ll do whatever I need to do
oh baby girl, I'm winning this rumble for you
please believe it was self-defense
we didn’t mean to kill your boyfriend
I’ll rescue you from this flaming wreck
if you will be mine in the end

Stay golden, ponyboy

you and me
were meant to be
I want to taste
your Johnny Cakes
Track Name: Let's Be Gay Tonight
LET'S BE GAY TONIGHT

you’re all invited to the part
not ashamed to tell my Mom about the way we met
the Re-Bar bathroom is disgusting
we tore the vikings from the wall
and we rubbed each other’s balls

I love you babe
so let’s be gay tonight

my girlfriend’s making out in front of me
lips are firmly pressed on another girl
my boner thinks that I’m a dummy
why’d I get so mad
it was the only fight we ever had

I need advice from savage love
remove my clothes get in the tub
I’m feeling good
I’m feeling great
just smash my face with birthday cake

equal rights forever more
when we approve R74
both gay and straight will celebrate
with golden cocks on top of our wedding cakes

gay people can be so annoying
especially the men when their flame is on
secretly it is kind of flattering
to know they can’t resist
a piece of ass like this
Track Name: Molly's Cake
Molly's Cake

Molly you can sleep in my bed
I don't speak French
I just pretend
I'm super impressed with your giant head
I feel bad for your turltenecks

Do you want to meet me for dinner?
I will make you a grilled cheese sandwich

Molly can cook while writing her book
fills up my plate
solving problems with cake
I know we just met but I'm willing to bet
that I'll say something stupid
something really stupid

Don't tell Molly you didn't read the recipes
because you thought that they were boring

Is it too late to fill my heart with cake?
All of Molly's cake
Is it too late?
Track Name: Please Don't Tell Me
I’ve got blisters on my eyes
I’m thinking I might go blind

Please don’t tell me how it ends
I don’t care

The words you use are not your friends
the alphabet would be better of dead
Track Name: Big Blue Weiner
You don’t need super powers
if you want to turn me on
just put your costume on
hanging out with Night Owl
He's just an ordinary man
with only two hands

The Television’s providing the play by play
getting naked on the couch
boobs are popping out
He awkwardly offers an apology
I tell him it's ok
but we both know that it’s not

The TV audience starts clapping when he’s done
I’ve fallen victim to his premature ejaculation

A big blue wiener is all I see
don’t point that thing at me

I can’t go seven panels without mentioning his name
or dreaming of his face
Experiencing every moment simultaneously
it's hard to comprehend

the world will soon be going nuclear and you’re nowhere to be found
Manhattan’s not around
He left when he was needed most
now he’s walking on Mars
Feeling sorry for himself

Your omnipresent aura is driving me away
how could you choose to love me when you knew I’d leave you some day

Exoskeleton

Foreshadowing
Has forsaken me
the Exoskeleton is absent
from the final scene
Track Name: Ode to Rosie
ODE TO ROSIE - lyrics

Allan Shainsky had a farm and on the farm he had twenty thousand chickens
my baby is in the barn that resembles a military barracks
why don’t you go outside
take advantage of your free range access
what’s that behind those eyes
I’m detecting large amounts of sadness
There there there there there
Rosie are you feeling lonely
your more than just my source for protein
it breaks my heart to know your tiny legs can not support
the massive weight brought on by spending all your days alone
consumed with sadness

Oh Rosie baby
what’s the matter you can tell me
We’ll both feel better
get acquainted with my belly

Now that I know the truth I can’t believe they call this bird organic
just between me and you, I’ve got no plans to change my eating habits
ten minutes is all it takes for Rosie to be fully plucked and packaged
I love the way she tastes even though I’m not a fan of the process
Track Name: Side Of Shining
Run your fingers down the fonts until you find the item that you want
your wallet is full of presidents so price is not a factor in your choice
take a drink of water then watch the glass fill up again
questioning the menu even though you know it comes with

A side of shining
perfect compliment to almost any entrée
Side of shining
senses percolate
there is no substituting
side of shining

engage in pleasant conversation with the woman sitting opposite
by the way she’s smiling you know for sure the lady is impressed
champagne is flowing freely
raise your glass propose a toast
to the things you love the most
to the night that’s going flawlessly

Into her eyes you stare
she’s playing with her hair
you put her hand on your leg and she just leaves it there
your starting to feel the shine
you know what’s on her mind
its time to seal the deal
she’ll soon be riding your snowmobile
Track Name: There Was A Bear
There was a bear
a bear bear bear
of very little brain
coming up with good ideas
he'd always save the day

your head got suck in the honey jar again
pooh bear loves that honey

There was a bear
a bear bear bear
who's always singing songs
loud and clear to himself
makes them up as he goes a long

bop bop bop bop bedlee dee
hey yong yong he hong hey
doot doo dooo
shree shra shra shra ra

I'm gonna eat a sandwich
i'm gonna eat a sandwich
that's what I'm talking about
making it up as I go along
shooba dooby dooby dobby you're a ding
ding dong ding ding a dong dong
you are a ding ding a dong dong

There was a bear
a bear bear bear
his friend was super sad
his donkey friend lost his tail
it was the only one he had

Pooh bear solved that mystery
put the tail back where it's supposed to be
reattached it to that donkey's rear end
Chirstopher Robin nailed it back on

there ain't no party like a pooh party
the best kind of party is a pooh party

gonna eat some cake at the pooh party
gonna eat some cake yeah you and me
gonna eat some cake with all our furry friends
even Eor will be there
Track Name: Beyond the Grave
Tell me more about
about the megacolon
how in the world did it get so big?
is it dangerous?

A piece of John Wilkes Booth
Floating in a jar
on display at the Mutter Museum
in Pennsylvania

She's still debating how to answer the question
it's not uncommon to join your collection
the vacation is over
at times it was stressful
you can relax now that you are gone

Roll me to the stage
prerecorded message
introduce the Bushwick show
from beyond the grave

Frozen in carbonite
next to the beers in the greenroom
somebody drew a mustache on my face
i bet it was probably Geoff