Books Are OK in My Book

by Mike Votava

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    Thank you so much for putting my music in your ears. I hope you enjoy it. You are numero uno!
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1.
ZOMBIE REAGAN - lyrics Saving 24 million dollars on a glass of milk Watch the President at the conference denying milk was spilt Spend the people’s hard earned money on Trident Submarines For protection from Russian birth marks and warheads firing The zombie apocalypse is right around the bend Corporate America will be standing in the end Giant hair and 80’s butt rock bands will rock again With Ronald Reagan returning from the dead Zombie Reagan Wants to eat my brains Zombie Reagan Looks a lot like regular Reagan Nancy says that my military’s the biggest she’s ever seen And I know that Yakov Smirnoff would probably agree Shooting lasers from outer space now I could go for that But how was I to know that the Star Wars program Would be a stupid piece of crap
2.
Were you thinking of me when you were fucking in outerspace? sadly, it doesn’t matter because I’ll still love you anyways Racing to the hospital driving so hysterical breathing toxins trapped inside I am dead and you’re still alive You must have been kind of crazy for ever wanting to marry me now you have lots of money and you’re the king of optometry celebrate our honeymoon I promise I’ll lose weight for you magic fingers on your spine I am dead but you’re still alive The crowd is going wild Billy is taking a leak Montana Wildhack is fixing something to eat Billy, I adore you I am so happy hear come the tears I’m sorry that I’m a fatty I can’t stop eating Three Musketeers Cadillac El Corado Coupe Deville slumped against the steering wheel unpleasant moment lodged in time I am dead and you’re still alive Cancel the optometrist convention only one survived the Sugarbush mountain side
3.
I am a handsome man and you’re a handsome lady oh won’t you take my hand but only for one dance then I’ll ignore you pretend you don’t exist feel free yak about my lack of social skills so disagreeable 200 pages in you still don’t know my first name I know you’re not to blame ms. Austen help me out it is Fitzwilliam the master of Pemberley You may remember me as the man who’ll take you down Darcy’s in the house I weigh ten thousand pounds are you gonna marry me we’re gonna find out Too many sisters in the room driving me crazy especially Katie Judy Mary Dawn and Amy Sleep on the floor for ten years stomp on my head it won’t wake me up my mom can wash my hair it won’t wake me up You think that I’m a jerk well I find this surprising I know you’ll come around and I’ve known it from the start Standing in front of me making a mockery your mom would not agree with the way you use that mouth mama said knock you out Mrs Bennet said knock you out One day we’ll laugh about refusing my proposal and how you hated me and all my stupid guts You are my future my lovely creature my pride is champion while your prejudice is dumb
4.
Stuck There 04:01
You’re the best the best around no one’s ever gonna take you down Karate Kid about to unleash the mighty crane kick Raise your arms above your head you just ran up a million stairs Rocky Balboa I think you’re gonna go the distance Evil queen, magic wand decorating her front lawn try to strike a pose if you want so when your body turns to rock you’re looking good, show some style before you turn to stone put your thoughts onto someone that you love ‘cause you’ll be stuck there for awhile He’s on the move shit is going down Santa Claus is finally coming to town and he’s got presents deadly weapons for small children here them sing the birds are out the taste of Turkish Delight fades from your mouth the snow is melting Spring is here the Winter’s over Lion’s breath is all it takes the ugly giant is now awake
5.
Feynman Leap 03:22
EYNMAN LEAP - lyrics I don’t really care That I won the Nobel prize I’d rather close my eyes And try to get some sleep tonight Take it off the hook Don’t bother me again with all this nonsense You memorized the books You memorized the words But you don’t know what they mean I think that’s absurd and that’s the reason why Brazilian science is a fucking joke There’s a master of quantum physics By the name of Samuel becket One day he will leap into me Right before I give a lecture The atomic bomb Is right here in this box This combination lock It’s not enough to stop Somebody like me from breaking in and reading all your secrets what a worthless bitch what a stupid whore I’m not buying her a drink I don’t do that anymore She’s still coming home with me Because All I have to do is ask her He says “oh boy”, surprised to find He’s Shaking hands with albert Einstein His friend Al’s a hologram That’s why the car can pass right thru him Teach me how to draw Show me how to shade Somebody will pay me To draw these naked ladies I’ll put it in a frame So you can hang it in your office you think that you’re so smart Well, I am not convinced What took you many years I learned in fifteen minutes This map of a cat Will show me the location of the whiskers Dr. Becket is changing lives He Answers to a higher power Setting right what once went wrong He hopes his next leap will be his leap home
6.
Outsider 04:26
OUTSIDER - lyrics I know you’re not the greaser type I’ve seen you running with those social guys my hair is slicked way back and I come from the wrong side of the tracks Sweet baby, you know I’m tuff but I’m not too tuff for your love I’m an outsider outside your heart please let me in so the lovin can start I’m an outsider not like the rest baby get ready for the Ponyboy express I’ll do whatever I need to do oh baby girl, I'm winning this rumble for you please believe it was self-defense we didn’t mean to kill your boyfriend I’ll rescue you from this flaming wreck if you will be mine in the end Stay golden, ponyboy you and me were meant to be I want to taste your Johnny Cakes
7.
LET'S BE GAY TONIGHT you’re all invited to the part not ashamed to tell my Mom about the way we met the Re-Bar bathroom is disgusting we tore the vikings from the wall and we rubbed each other’s balls I love you babe so let’s be gay tonight my girlfriend’s making out in front of me lips are firmly pressed on another girl my boner thinks that I’m a dummy why’d I get so mad it was the only fight we ever had I need advice from savage love remove my clothes get in the tub I’m feeling good I’m feeling great just smash my face with birthday cake equal rights forever more when we approve R74 both gay and straight will celebrate with golden cocks on top of our wedding cakes gay people can be so annoying especially the men when their flame is on secretly it is kind of flattering to know they can’t resist a piece of ass like this
8.
Molly's Cake 03:02
Molly's Cake Molly you can sleep in my bed I don't speak French I just pretend I'm super impressed with your giant head I feel bad for your turltenecks Do you want to meet me for dinner? I will make you a grilled cheese sandwich Molly can cook while writing her book fills up my plate solving problems with cake I know we just met but I'm willing to bet that I'll say something stupid something really stupid Don't tell Molly you didn't read the recipes because you thought that they were boring Is it too late to fill my heart with cake? All of Molly's cake Is it too late?
9.
I’ve got blisters on my eyes I’m thinking I might go blind Please don’t tell me how it ends I don’t care The words you use are not your friends the alphabet would be better of dead
10.
You don’t need super powers if you want to turn me on just put your costume on hanging out with Night Owl He's just an ordinary man with only two hands The Television’s providing the play by play getting naked on the couch boobs are popping out He awkwardly offers an apology I tell him it's ok but we both know that it’s not The TV audience starts clapping when he’s done I’ve fallen victim to his premature ejaculation A big blue wiener is all I see don’t point that thing at me I can’t go seven panels without mentioning his name or dreaming of his face Experiencing every moment simultaneously it's hard to comprehend the world will soon be going nuclear and you’re nowhere to be found Manhattan’s not around He left when he was needed most now he’s walking on Mars Feeling sorry for himself Your omnipresent aura is driving me away how could you choose to love me when you knew I’d leave you some day Exoskeleton Foreshadowing Has forsaken me the Exoskeleton is absent from the final scene
11.
Ode to Rosie 03:34
ODE TO ROSIE - lyrics Allan Shainsky had a farm and on the farm he had twenty thousand chickens my baby is in the barn that resembles a military barracks why don’t you go outside take advantage of your free range access what’s that behind those eyes I’m detecting large amounts of sadness There there there there there Rosie are you feeling lonely your more than just my source for protein it breaks my heart to know your tiny legs can not support the massive weight brought on by spending all your days alone consumed with sadness Oh Rosie baby what’s the matter you can tell me We’ll both feel better get acquainted with my belly Now that I know the truth I can’t believe they call this bird organic just between me and you, I’ve got no plans to change my eating habits ten minutes is all it takes for Rosie to be fully plucked and packaged I love the way she tastes even though I’m not a fan of the process
12.
Run your fingers down the fonts until you find the item that you want your wallet is full of presidents so price is not a factor in your choice take a drink of water then watch the glass fill up again questioning the menu even though you know it comes with A side of shining perfect compliment to almost any entrée Side of shining senses percolate there is no substituting side of shining engage in pleasant conversation with the woman sitting opposite by the way she’s smiling you know for sure the lady is impressed champagne is flowing freely raise your glass propose a toast to the things you love the most to the night that’s going flawlessly Into her eyes you stare she’s playing with her hair you put her hand on your leg and she just leaves it there your starting to feel the shine you know what’s on her mind its time to seal the deal she’ll soon be riding your snowmobile
13.
There was a bear a bear bear bear of very little brain coming up with good ideas he'd always save the day your head got suck in the honey jar again pooh bear loves that honey There was a bear a bear bear bear who's always singing songs loud and clear to himself makes them up as he goes a long bop bop bop bop bedlee dee hey yong yong he hong hey doot doo dooo shree shra shra shra ra I'm gonna eat a sandwich i'm gonna eat a sandwich that's what I'm talking about making it up as I go along shooba dooby dooby dobby you're a ding ding dong ding ding a dong dong you are a ding ding a dong dong There was a bear a bear bear bear his friend was super sad his donkey friend lost his tail it was the only one he had Pooh bear solved that mystery put the tail back where it's supposed to be reattached it to that donkey's rear end Chirstopher Robin nailed it back on there ain't no party like a pooh party the best kind of party is a pooh party gonna eat some cake at the pooh party gonna eat some cake yeah you and me gonna eat some cake with all our furry friends even Eor will be there
14.
Tell me more about about the megacolon how in the world did it get so big? is it dangerous? A piece of John Wilkes Booth Floating in a jar on display at the Mutter Museum in Pennsylvania She's still debating how to answer the question it's not uncommon to join your collection the vacation is over at times it was stressful you can relax now that you are gone Roll me to the stage prerecorded message introduce the Bushwick show from beyond the grave Frozen in carbonite next to the beers in the greenroom somebody drew a mustache on my face i bet it was probably Geoff
15.
The Giving Tree Blues ======================== My beeping machine suddenly broke in half low quality, it wasn't mean to last I know why you returned it's not my first rodeo come take what you want I'm your convenience store Your too old for all this climbing on a steel horse you've been riding there will be no more high fiving while I'm still alive Wheels on the bus keep going round and round I will pretend that I'm happy now you carved her name on the side of me she'll break your heart this I guarantee all that and more but I can never leave I am just a tree and I don't have any legs you get a car and you get a car everybody gets a car you get a car and you get a car everyone is getting a car Love Oprah

about

These are all songs inspired by books. Written and performed for The Bushwick Book Club Seattle.

Recorded these songs in my studio. It was fun.

credits

released August 7, 2016

written by Mike Votava
produced by Mike Votava
recorded at MJV Studios
Seattle, WA

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Mike Votava Seattle, Washington

Mike Votava is an artist. He writes songs, he performs, he rocks out. People seem to like it. You will too.

Mike lives in Seattle at the House of Pain.

Don't be surprised if he calls you a ding dong. That's just how he talks.
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