We've updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Tuesday Groove Kabobs

by Mike Votava

supported by
Mike Votava
Mike Votava thumbnail
Mike Votava I support myself at least two times a day, if you know what I mean.
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
THE SMILEY MAN by Mike Votava ------------------ I grew up overshadowed by buildings couldn’t catch the eye of no city girl Drove my rusty truck into a sea of whispers the whispers build, the whispers cry drinking beers with the morning skies When I was a child I met the smiley man I asked him how he stayed so smiley this is what the smiley man said don’t live your life like a fuddy duddy even if you feel like a fuddy duddy that ain't no way to live amen Used to know a girl who lived in Bellingham well now, sorry that’s not true I’m playing a hilarious prank on you But if I actually knew that girl I’d wonder how she’s been does she understand the wisdom of the smiley man
2.
Buzzy Buzzy Bee by Mike Votava ________________ What’s your high score? I’m coming for your honey gonna write my name top the leader board with a whiteboard pen and that will be the end of Murray fucking Pendergrass That’s a nice technique I like the way you work that basket catch the floating balls drop them in the pot give em all you’ve got plus a little more before your time expires Buzzy Buzzy Bee Buzzy Buzy Buzzy Buzzy Buzzy Buzzy Bee Buzzy Buzzy Bee Buzzy Buzzy Bee I finally have enough cashing in all my tickets Mr. Pickle ‘s mine take him off the shelf put him in my arms next to my heart so I can love him better
3.
LEAVES OF GRASS MY ASS by MIKE VOTAVA ------------------------------ Everything’s a wash, my brain is swimming in the clouds my wheel of fortune’s spinning and I cannot buy a vowel because I don’t know how Pat Sajak help me out Another fucking masterpiece is showing me the door don’t understand what’s happening there’s poetry galore what are these words for? You’re a worthy adversary Homer’s in the cemetery filled with rage and knocking on your grave Damn you Walt Whitman words not built to last damn you Walt Whitman Leaves of grass my ass I’m hearing what you’re saying and I have to disagree I‘m pretty sure without a doubt a cheesecloth is not a thing Turns out it’s a thing I’ve been Googling it’s a piece of cloth used for cooking cheese Even though I’m super dumb I’m gifting you the blame Packaged in a shiny box sent from the house of pain addressed to your name
4.
broken arrow tread lightly startled sparrow crafty nightwing game set and match oh these plans we hatched quite an itch to scratch i've got this feeling that we've got big trouble
5.
I Am 03:45
I Am by Nick Droz and Mike Votava -------------------------------- King of the lanes running this town You’re setting them up and I’m striking them down I Party all the time that’s the way I roll I can fit two fingers and a thumb inside of your holes Who do you think you are? I am Rocking the tour always putting on a show my balls are silky smooth and they know just where to go There’s a turkey on the board I’m rolling like butter Gonna slap some on your toast while I’m banging your mother
6.
Broken Heads 01:56
The other day when you came by you took the sky from me Now things have changed can’t feel the clouds underneath my feet Give it up for old curmudgeon get off my lawn that’s what she said The enemy might be among us with shifty eyes and broken heads The empty streets are occupied with the secret messages that transmit give me your decoder ring I’m gonna smash it into bits
7.
I took a nap into town there I go I took a nap into town like a pro Everyone’s honking at me everyone’s causing a scene All these lazy bones impact my transportation modes She’s shaking her driving cane why can’t I stay in my lane Floating down the interstate in the clouds fluffy pillows the commuters don’t hesitate curse me out full of road rage I took a nap into town there I go I took a nap into town like a pro Everyone’s honking at me I must be causing a scene
8.
Hoffman is the coach he keeps his fingernails clean praying to God that I make the basketball team forgive me father my airball’s a sin I doubt that my free throws will ever go in that’s the wrong pope Go Meryl Streep find out what you need to know crashing the scene like a cat with a mouse down her throat in dramatic fashion the words leave her mouth a heart that was certain is now filled with doubt that’s the wrong Pope Poor Amy Adams with her back to the classroom their antics are hard to control she unleashes my favorite quote How many times must they say it out loud doubt doubt doubt doubt doubt doubt doubt doubt doubty doubt that’s the wrong pope
9.
You told me that I was the one bouncing off the moonlight raindrops keep falling on my butt though you prefer the sunshine turn off the lights everything is right another Hamburger night let’s get it on I know that I belong forever wrapped up in your stripes there’s no more question marks sweet pajama shark there’s no place that I would rather be than swimming in your ocean I love it and I will repeat im Blueberry Johnson does that make sense? no longer on the fence can you see it in my eyes? It’s Time for bed my favorite sleepyhead forever wrapped up in your stripes There’s no more question marks sweet pajama shark watch out for cart narcs sweet pajama shark
10.
You told me that I was the one bouncing off the moonlight raindrops keep falling on my butt though you prefer the sunshine turn off the lights everything is right another Hamburger night let’s get it on I know that I belong forever wrapped up in your stripes there’s no more question marks sweet pajama shark there’s no place that I would rather be than swimming in your ocean I love it and I will repeat im Blueberry Johnson does that make sense? no longer on the fence can you see it in my eyes? It’s Time for bed my favorite sleepyhead forever wrapped up in your stripes There’s no more question marks sweet pajama shark watch out for cart narcs sweet pajama shark
11.
Why does Apollo Creed have to die every time I’m watching Rocky IV? Throw in the towel Sylvester Stallone If he dies he dies, says Ivan Drago There’s no easy way out There’s no shortcut home
12.
Hey, Mr. Clean pants You think you’re better than me? Hey, Mr. Clean Pants Your pants are super clean On the stage with an arrow through your head no one’s laughing the audience is dead Whoa oh Steve Martin Look what you’re starting Always farting around Am I original I accidentally borrowed your material Now I will drown my sorrows in some cereal How was I supposed to know that you used it in your show 50 billion years ago in the early 70s Hey there, Glasses I like your glasses Hey there, Glasses Nice glasses On the field or behind the upright bass It’s hard to see without the glasses on your face Whoa oh Geof Larson Oh Fart Fartson Always farting around Am I original I accidentally borrowed your material Now I will drown my sorrows in some cereal How was I supposed to know that you used it in your show 50 trillion years ago in the early 70s
13.
Swan Knocker 02:33
You’ve been at it for hours you do this every day violate my mail slot which I don’t appreciate Who’s rocking on my front door swan knocker If you love me say so otherwise just go away keep me from my pizza with your feathers in my face Who’s rocking on my front door swan knocker Watch you terrorize the neighborhood you’re a superstar on the local news Unlike all the other British you birds you’re out to break my heart and there’s nothing I can do Who’s rocking on my front door swan knocker
14.
Time to make a deposit withdrawal whenever you want it save up for your party pizza is better than money One pizza two pizza three pizza four pizza The Pizza Bank Five pizza six pizza seven pizza eight pizza The Pizza Bank Cheese and pepperoni no pizza baloney open Monday thru Friday and Saturdays and Sundays T – H – E – P – I – Z – Z – A – B – A – N – K The Pizza Bank T – H – E – P – I – Z – Z – A – B – A – N – K The Pizza Bank
15.
That’s a photo of my egg it must be what I had for breakfast looking up at me to say “remember when…” and wishing it had arms to wave That was not a pleasant day or an egg to be remembered how can breakfast be so unremarkable yet still remain significant? I think I’ve had enough go send some emails call the wedding off and let the robots know I won’t be needing their services any longer They still follow me around they didn’t get the memo shower me with lonely memories from here to infinity I wonder if this is the end the end of all forgetting I don’t even need to write that down the robots will remember it There’s only one solution I’m going nuclear I’m gonna fix their wagon I’m going nuclear Feliz Navidad compleanos ahblos a bobbedy blaa
16.
THANKS FOR FOLLOWING THE RULES BY MIKE VOTAVA ------------------------------------------ Waiting impatiently the empty bench across the street is mocking me because I have to stand Say good morning to the bus driver your 15th avenue south chauffer destination Beacon Hill station the light rail is your friend your one and only fiend Red Apple Market deli is the place for lunch they got discount sandwiches Thanks for following the rules There’s an old lady with a cane inside a triangle be prepared to offer her your seat there’s no hamburgers, no cigarettes please keep your music to yourself and if you bring your dog you’ll need to keep them in a box in a little tiny box Proof of purchase is a requirement head and hands inside the bus Thanks for following the rules No standing on the stairs fold your strollers stay seated, almost there the ride is over The moon is out the sun is gone reverse the route on my way home embrace the grumpiness or face unwanted consequence unwanted consequence There are four lights competing with a million stars shout it Captain Picard thanks for following the rules
17.
Of Salesman 03:03
I‘m going door to door with predictors in my briefcase You can’t resist my charm it goes up all the way to eleven Never mind all of the warnings all that you’ve heard is a lie brains are not meant to be broken a hundred percent of the time I guarantee that you’ll be fine of salesman you got the green light wait one second then press the button Choice an illusion it’s predetermined that you’ll buy one from me None of your decisions matter you think that they do but they don’t maybe I’ll get a promotion Millions and millions have sold It’s the easiest job in the world of salesman
18.
Here we go to the movies watch a show eat some popcorn Find a seat in the theatre I’m not impressed with the trailers Cooling off in the summer you gotta love the air conditioning blew my mind that Tyler Durden and Edward Norton are the same person at the movies I’ve got to run to the bathroom when I return tell me what happened Check it out the folks in front of us are making out touching boobies Holy crap give them an Oscar and all the thumbs Siskel and Ebert This is great watching Arnold terminate Sarah Connor at the movies
19.
What would Swayze do if he were in this exact situation before you act the fool ask yourself the million dollar question how about a roundhouse kick or some dirty dancing and super sexy moves What would Swayze do When you’re just not sure search your heart for Swayze wisdom nuggets you know the pain don’t hurt those hungry eyes will work to keep you from it always be nice until it’s time to rip out a throat or two What would Swayze do Not everything will point break your way take a naked midnight walk to process all your thoughts with moonlight bouncing off your butt What would Swayze do
20.
Lazybones 03:13
I like to wash my clothes get them nice and clean then throw them on the floor Sometimes I make my bed most days I don’t burrito blankets I’m a lazybones a pile of lazybones Don’t rush me Not a morning guy on my own time I’m a lazybones You’re not my BFF coffee is mine we’re super tight I am the president I am in charge of this procrastination Don’t push me you’ll only make it worse I’m on my own time I’m a lazybones
21.
Hot Dog 03:55
I hope you notice me when I die Let’s make it easier for you to make reflections on my life Life has been good to me full of sex and candy So Put down your beer pay attention to the words that will appear You can pick only one phrase you can’t change it that’s the way the creator made it so shout with your last breath make it count Hot dog in the back of your mind it belongs to a voice you recognize I’ll be gone but you’ll know what’s going on because Hot Dog is the code for I just died when you hear hot dog you will know that I just died That hot dog was intentional even though I know you prefer hamburgers as your favorite meat sandwich of choice Psychic hot dog energy floating all across the universe Like an undead Facebook post that can only reach the ones you love the most
22.
Another Day 01:58
A handful of worthless dimes dreaming of Sunday and secret valentines not sure what I just said under the covers, I can’t escape my bed There goes another day Mumbling perfect lines fake conversations form circles in real-time pressure is building up exhausted from thinking I should have got more done There goes another day Down you go, like Dominos over thirty minutes late the pie is free it’s meant for me it’s not a thing to throw away There goes another day
23.
Rocket Boat 02:54
Rocket boat zooming by wish I was on that ride on the rocket boat awesome rocket boat Underneath the burning bridge the paper trails and interwebz praise the rocket boat five-star rocket boat I’ve been moving kind of slow it’s the only way I know close my eyes, begin to float on the rocket boat Open skies making waves live the dream good times for days on the rocket boat exclusive rocket boat Horizon goals beyond the sun just out of reach unless you’re on on the rocket boat magic rocket boat
24.
Birthday Cow 02:21
I could never spend Halloween on my birthday cow they never let me spend Halloween on my birthday cow Put my head down chase the sad away take some candy from my candy tray Sweet ol’ Bessie I know you really love the monster mashing and children throwing up Pose for a photograph in my little cowboy hat the cheese is stuck behind my breath walk the neighborhood even though I should be on the back of my best friend Birthday Cow
25.
Possum House 02:25
I’m building a house for all the possums in the world so they can have a place to party down The possum house is an awesome house to live especially if you are a possum Through the open door is how they get inside there’s possums galore having the greatest time Mud and stick and sticks and mud held together with some love it’s super sturdy and built to last for the longest time I’m building a possum house motherfucking possum house I’m’ building a possum house whoa yeah
26.
Do not be afraid do not be afraid do not be afraid of the mosquitoes in my grave All my magic cards are gone long white bones with the flesh all gone all my magic cards blown away long white bones that look OK Robots traveling through time their mission has been well defined keep your hands off my burrito here’s sub-zero now plain zero
27.
This is my friend Mark I think he’s a 10 out of 10 he likes to kick me down the stairs We are BFFs I think that’s why he breaks all my stuff he gets to do what he wants or I get punched in the junk What the hell was I thinking? my future self is cringing I can’t believe I could ever be so wrong It’s awful and I know it Embarrassed by the moment The monkey’s not as golden as I thought My eight-year-old self would lose his shit on a trip to Mickey D’s there’s nothing better than a happy meal Now as an adult I can’t fathom why I’d go there to eat cuz what I thought was D lish is so obviously garbage The big mac I just ordered tastes like fancy cardboard but as a child, I love to throw them down My younger self expired now my tastes buds are much wiser that burger has no business in my mouth That nice lady seemed so lovely at the time but now I know she’s super evil it disgusts me knowing that she pulled one on me I do the best I can I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but I hope my future self can recognize and be forgiving
28.
Don't sit on the cat the cat doesn't want to be sat on Don't sit on the cat the cat doesn't want to be flattened

about

Welcome to Tuesday Groove Kabobs!

This is the place where I (Mike Votava) add a brand new song every Tuesday.

So sit back, purchase / stream / download, and repeat as needed.

Love, Mike

credits

released October 20, 2020

Rick Is A Jerk Music

All songs written by Mike Votava
except tracks 4, 5 written by Nick Droz and Mike Votava

All songs produced and recorded and mixed by Mike Votava
except tracks 4, 5 produced and recorded by Nick Droz and Mike Votava
track 5: mixed by Nick Droz
track 11: additional recording by Ailisa Newhall
track 15: additional recording by Nahan Sarver

All tracks mastered by Mike Votava

All tracks (except 4, 5, 15, 21, 25): Mike Votava - bass, guitars, keys, vocals, percussion
track 4: Mike Votava - guitar, bass, keys | Nick Droz - vocals
track 5: Mike Votava - vocals | Nick Droz: guitars, drums, bass
track 11: Ailisa Newhall - accordion, vocals | Rick Weber - drums | Mike Votava - guitar, vocals
track 15: Mike Votava - guitars, bass, vocals | Nathan Sarver - guitar solo
track 20: Mike Votava - guitars, bass, vocals | Rick Weber - banjo
track 25: Mike Votava - vocals, rhythm guitars, bass | Nathan Sarver - lead guitars

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Mike Votava Seattle, Washington

Mike Votava is an artist. He writes songs, he performs, he rocks out. People seem to like it. You will too.

Mike lives in Seattle at the House of Pain.

Don't be surprised if he calls you a ding dong. That's just how he talks.
... more

contact / help

Contact Mike Votava

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Mike Votava recommends:

If you like Mike Votava, you may also like: