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Mike Votava This album makes me want to eat a ton of hot dogs! Take it from the guy who made the fucking thing. It's that good!
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1.
I Am A Taco 02:42
I am crunchy I am delicious I am a taco Do you still love me? Will you marry me? I am a taco
2.
take me down to mexico we'll eat a pile of tacos and i won't mind if you decide you love me if a scientists could find a way to shrink you down with a shrink ray i'd pick you up and put you in my pocket I give you two thumbs up two thumbs up remember the end of the running man where arnold sends damon killian exploding through that billboard for cadre cola what's that you say you liked it a lot we both agree that it hits the spot but I'm not exactly sure why it exploded I give you two thumbs up two thumbs up I'd give you more but these two thumbs are all I have to give to you right now you're a sexy ladybug that flys around and lands on stuff i'll let you land on me anytime you wanna You helped me score the winning goal now please report to the endzone there's a sexy dance party in progress
3.
Driving Cane 03:12
I don’t know how to drive I’m always crashing into everything Beams of disappointment blasting from your eyes I don’t know what you’re going to do with me Forty thousand pesos is not a lot of pesos Can’t afford that yacht This driving cane is the only driving cane that I‘ve got Driving cane right in your face I’m shaking my cane in your big stupid face Sometimes you know exactly where you want to be but most times you won’t know what the hell is happening
4.
Every Day 03:08
Come on home in the middle of the night Its time to pack it in It Won’t be long until the mornings come and you’ll be at it again hold me down with devil horns to my throat you want me to get off the shed but I won’t The stupid toaster is no use if we are out of bread I ‘d like to take a giant bite of your ice cream sandwich head Throw those bad ideas out the door Someone go tell management we won’t need them anymore This I know for sure Yes I know Everyday something happens to the plans we’ve made Blown to pieces by the hand grenade Inside our brains Some might say you’re the reason why I am this way sometimes strangers stop and ask me hey are you ok I'm not ok no way José
5.
Captain Dog 04:05
i'm in doggy heaven Jessica i can see you crying the truck came out of nowhere i wish i could watch tv with you again sing along to your favorite theme song hanging out with Brandon Walsh eating pie down at the peach pit Captain Dog you named me captain dog and that's an awesome name for a dog Jessica, don't be sad for me i'm happy here there's lots of things to bark at and i can pea on anything i miss you, and i know you miss me too i'll always be watching over you but we'll probably never meet again because doggy heaven's no place for humans
6.
Don Gato 03:54
Senor Don Gato was a cat On a high red roof Don Gato sat He went there to read a letter Meow, meow, meow Where the reading light was better Meow, meow, meow it was a love note for Don Gato I adore you wrote the lady cat Who was fluffy, white and nice and fat There was not a sweeter kitty Meow, meow, meow In the country or the city Meow, meow, meow And she said she'd wed Don Gato Don Gato jumped so happily He fell off the roof and broke his knee Broke his face and all his whiskers Meow, meow, meow And his little solar plexus, Meow, meow, meow Ay Caramba cried Don Gato The doctors all came on the run Just to see if something could be done And they held a consultation, Meow, meow, meow About how to save their patient Meow, meow, meow How to save Senor Don Gato In spite of everything they tried Senor Don Gato up and died And it wasn't very merry Meow, meow, meow Going to the cemetery Meow, meow, meow For the ending of Don Gato When the funeral passed the market square Such a smell of fish was in the air Though his burial was slated Meow, meow, meow He became reanimated Meow, meow, meow He came back to life, Don Gato
7.
Fish Song 04:33
I am a fish and all i ever get to do is swim around I'll be honest with you it gets kind of boring I don't like the way the water always seems to pull me down I get so irritated by all this fucking bullshit fuck this that's what I'm thinking sometimes I wish that I was not a fish my scales are golden but i know that they are wasted on myself my life is pretty worthless any way you look at it i get so lonely i'm the only fish who's swimming by himself there is no lady fish who will accept my fishy kisses you think it's so god damn hilarious when your tapping on the glass you're a fucking asshole and i hate your fucking mother I'm gonna take this plastic scuba man and shove him up your ass how does that feel, i bet it feels really fucking awesome
8.
Time To Go 03:20
Oh yesterday we were so much younger and the nights were longer without putting up a fight watching MTV for the news Kurt Loder when the Snorks are over it's time to say goodnight Going home today pack a snack for on the way raid the fridge for frozen pizza time to go I don't know the way mobile phone will navigate leave behind the lonely pieces time to go It's so hard to breath when the bases are loaded wondering if she noticed her hand holding my heart in the car she said she just wanted to be friends so this is how it ends why did I pretend
9.
Stuck There 04:15
You’re the best the best around no one’s ever gonna take you down Karate Kid about to unleash the mighty crane kick Raise your arms above your head you just ran up a million stairs Rocky Balboa I think you’re gonna go the distance Evil queen, magic wand decorating her front lawn try to strike a pose if you want so when your body turns to rock you’re looking good, show some style before you turn to stone put your thoughts onto someone that you love ‘cause you’ll be stuck there for a while He’s on the move shit is going down Santa Claus is finally coming to town and he’s got presents deadly weapons for small children here them sing the birds are out the taste of Turkish Delight fades from your mouth the snow is melting Spring is here the Winter’s over Lion’s breath is all it takes the ugly giant is now awake
10.
Train Song 03:38
well the train is coming so you better get out of the way destination Bellingham USA i'm speeding down the tracks and i'm probably never coming back cause I don't want to ever want to feel that way again the scenery behind me disappears ponder to myself in between my ears im speeding down the tracks it's the perfect time to take a nap gonna close my eyes and dream of what's to come this train is going somewhere i wonder when i'll get there will you be waiting for me we'll take this train apart just promise me you'll never break my heart i'm the only passenger on fire this body has been burning for a while i'm speeding down the tracks with a sexy lady on my lap she tells me that she likes the way I smell i can't decide which cereal I want gonna have to choose when this train stops I'm speeding down the tracks i'm writing my own almanac predicting that the rainy days are gone ahead of me is nothing but the sun
11.
Were you thinking of me when you were fucking in outer space? sadly, it doesn’t matter because I’ll still love you anyways Racing to the hospital driving so hysterical breathing toxins trapped inside I am dead and you’re still alive You must have been kind of crazy for ever wanting to marry me now you have lots of money and you’re the king of optometry celebrate our honeymoon I promise I’ll lose weight for you magic fingers on your spine I am dead but you’re still alive The crowd is going wild Billy is taking a leak Montana Wildhack is fixing something to eat Billy, I adore you I've been so happy for all these years I’m sorry that I’m a fatty I can’t stop eating Three Musketeers Cadillac El Corado Coupe Deville slumped against the steering wheel unpleasant moment lodged in time I am dead and you’re still alive Cancel the optometrist convention only one survived the Sugarbush mountain side
12.
Flamethrower 03:35
An armchair armada has formed moving across the floor you'll have to go around explosions have blocked the door Army men melting away nothing remains for sure cameras are rolling following Schwarzenegger Flamethrower Say something awesome this time before you kill that guy you had no trouble coming up with that line Bad guys are setting up shop we're sending in Robocop we are the best of friends enemies we are not I'm on fire you're on fire everyone is so on fire

about

Holy crap! This is the debut album from Mike Votava and The Ding Dongs. You are going to fucking love it!!!

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credits

released October 25, 2019

All songs by Mike Votava
Ⓟ © 2019 Rick is a Jerk Music [ASCAP]
Except “Don Gato”

Produced by Mike Votava

Engineered and mixed by Mike Votava
at MJV Studios, Seattle WA

Mastered by Ed Brooks
at Resonant Mastering, Seattle WA

Art design by Mike Votava

Hot dog Illustration by Teo Zirinis [Hands Off My Dinosaur]

Mike Votava guitar, vocals
THE DING DONGS
Rick Weber drums, vocals
Wes Weddell guitar, vocals
Nick Droz bass, guitar

HONORARY DING DONGS
Chris Poage keys [4, 5, 11], baritone sax [6]
Geoff Larson upright bass [1, 5, 6]
Ailisa Newhall vocals [1]
Chris Credit flute [5]

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about

Mike Votava Seattle, Washington

Mike Votava is an artist. He writes songs, he performs, he rocks out. People seem to like it. You will too.

Mike lives in Seattle at the House of Pain.

Don't be surprised if he calls you a ding dong. That's just how he talks.
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