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Mike Votava This album makes me want to eat a ton of hot dogs! Take it from the guy who made the fucking thing. It's that good!
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Holy crap! This is the debut album from Mike Votava and The Ding Dongs. You are going to fucking love it!!!

──▓▒▒▒▓░░♥DING DONG DONGER♥░░▒▓▒▒▒▓


released October 25, 2019

All songs by Mike Votava
Ⓟ © 2019 Rick is a Jerk Music [ASCAP]
Except “Don Gato”

Produced by Mike Votava

Engineered and mixed by Mike Votava
at MJV Studios, Seattle WA

Mastered by Ed Brooks
at Resonant Mastering, Seattle WA

Art design by Mike Votava

Hot dog Illustration by Teo Zirinis [Hands Off My Dinosaur]

Mike Votava guitar, vocals
Rick Weber drums, vocals
Wes Weddell guitar, vocals
Nick Droz bass, guitar

Chris Poage keys [4, 5, 11], baritone sax [6]
Geoff Larson upright bass [1, 5, 6]
Ailisa Newhall vocals [1]
Chris Credit flute [5]


all rights reserved



Mike Votava Seattle, Washington

Mike Votava is an artist. He writes songs, he performs, he rocks out. People seem to like it. You will too.

Mike lives in Seattle at the House of Pain.

Don't be surprised if he calls you a ding dong. That's just how he talks.
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Track Name: I Am A Taco
I am crunchy
I am delicious
I am a taco

Do you still love me?
Will you marry me?
I am a taco
Track Name: Two Thumbs Up
take me down to mexico
we'll eat a pile of tacos
and i won't mind if you decide you love me

if a scientists could find a way
to shrink you down with a shrink ray
i'd pick you up and put you in my pocket

I give you two thumbs up two thumbs up

remember the end of the running man
where arnold sends damon killian
exploding through that billboard for cadre cola

what's that you say
you liked it a lot
we both agree that it hits the spot
but I'm not exactly sure why it exploded

I give you two thumbs up two thumbs up

I'd give you more
but these two thumbs are all I have
to give to you right now

you're a sexy ladybug
that flys around and lands on stuff
i'll let you land on me anytime you wanna

You helped me score the winning goal
now please report to the endzone
there's a sexy dance party in progress
Track Name: Driving Cane
I don’t know how to drive
I’m always crashing into everything
Beams of disappointment blasting from your eyes
I don’t know what you’re going to do with me

Forty thousand pesos is not a lot of pesos
Can’t afford that yacht

This driving cane is the only driving cane that I‘ve got

Driving cane
right in your face
I’m shaking my cane in your big stupid face

Sometimes you know exactly where you want to be
but most times you won’t know what the hell is happening
Track Name: Every Day
Come on home in the middle of the night Its time to pack it in
It Won’t be long until the mornings come and you’ll be at it again
hold me down with devil horns to my throat
you want me to get off the shed but I won’t

The stupid toaster is no use if we are out of bread
I ‘d like to take a giant bite of your ice cream sandwich head
Throw those bad ideas out the door
Someone go tell management we won’t need them anymore
This I know for sure
Yes I know

Everyday something happens to the plans we’ve made
Blown to pieces by the hand grenade
Inside our brains

Some might say you’re the reason why I am this way
sometimes strangers stop and ask me hey are you ok
I'm not ok
no way José
Track Name: Captain Dog
i'm in doggy heaven
Jessica i can see you crying
the truck came out of nowhere

i wish i could watch tv with you again
sing along to your favorite theme song
hanging out with Brandon Walsh
eating pie down at the peach pit

Captain Dog
you named me captain dog
and that's an awesome name for a dog

Jessica, don't be sad for me
i'm happy here
there's lots of things to bark at
and i can pea on anything

i miss you, and i know you miss me too
i'll always be watching over you
but we'll probably never meet again
because doggy heaven's no place for humans
Track Name: Don Gato
Senor Don Gato was a cat
On a high red roof Don Gato sat
He went there to read a letter
Meow, meow, meow
Where the reading light was better
Meow, meow, meow
it was a love note for Don Gato

I adore you wrote the lady cat
Who was fluffy, white and nice and fat
There was not a sweeter kitty
Meow, meow, meow
In the country or the city
Meow, meow, meow
And she said she'd wed Don Gato
Don Gato jumped so happily
He fell off the roof and broke his knee
Broke his face and all his whiskers
Meow, meow, meow
And his little solar plexus,
Meow, meow, meow
Ay Caramba cried Don Gato

The doctors all came on the run
Just to see if something could be done
And they held a consultation,
Meow, meow, meow
About how to save their patient
Meow, meow, meow
How to save Senor Don Gato

In spite of everything they tried
Senor Don Gato up and died
And it wasn't very merry
Meow, meow, meow
Going to the cemetery
Meow, meow, meow
For the ending of Don Gato

When the funeral passed the market square
Such a smell of fish was in the air
Though his burial was slated
Meow, meow, meow
He became reanimated
Meow, meow, meow
He came back to life, Don Gato
Track Name: Fish Song
I am a fish and all i ever get to do is swim around
I'll be honest with you it gets kind of boring
I don't like the way the water always seems to pull me down
I get so irritated by all this fucking bullshit

fuck this
that's what I'm thinking
sometimes I wish
that I was not a fish

my scales are golden but i know that they are wasted on myself
my life is pretty worthless any way you look at it
i get so lonely i'm the only fish who's swimming by himself
there is no lady fish who will accept my fishy kisses

you think it's so god damn hilarious when your tapping on the glass
you're a fucking asshole and i hate your fucking mother
I'm gonna take this plastic scuba man and shove him up your ass
how does that feel, i bet it feels really fucking awesome
Track Name: Time To Go
Oh yesterday we were so much younger
and the nights were longer without putting up a fight
watching MTV for the news
Kurt Loder
when the Snorks are over it's time to say goodnight

Going home today
pack a snack for on the way
raid the fridge for frozen pizza
time to go
I don't know the way
mobile phone will navigate
leave behind the lonely pieces
time to go

It's so hard to breath when the bases are loaded
wondering if she noticed her hand holding my heart
in the car she said she just wanted to be friends
so this is how it ends
why did I pretend
Track Name: Stuck There
You’re the best
the best around
no one’s ever gonna take you down
Karate Kid
about to unleash the mighty crane kick

Raise your arms above your head
you just ran up a million stairs
Rocky Balboa
I think you’re gonna go the distance
Evil queen, magic wand
decorating her front lawn

try to strike a pose if you want
so when your body turns to rock
you’re looking good, show some style
before you turn to stone
put your thoughts onto someone that you love
‘cause you’ll be stuck there for a while

He’s on the move
shit is going down
Santa Claus is finally coming to town
and he’s got presents
deadly weapons for small children

here them sing
the birds are out
the taste of Turkish Delight fades from your mouth
the snow is melting
Spring is here the Winter’s over

Lion’s breath is all it takes
the ugly giant is now awake
Track Name: Train Song
well the train is coming so you better get out of the way
destination Bellingham USA
i'm speeding down the tracks
and i'm probably never coming back
cause I don't want to ever want to feel that way again

the scenery behind me disappears
ponder to myself in between my ears
im speeding down the tracks
it's the perfect time to take a nap
gonna close my eyes and dream of what's to come

this train is going somewhere
i wonder when i'll get there
will you be waiting for me
we'll take this train apart
just promise me you'll never break my heart

i'm the only passenger on fire
this body has been burning for a while
i'm speeding down the tracks
with a sexy lady on my lap
she tells me that she likes the way I smell

i can't decide which cereal I want
gonna have to choose when this train stops
I'm speeding down the tracks
i'm writing my own almanac
predicting that the rainy days are gone
ahead of me is nothing but the sun
Track Name: Optometrist Convention
Were you thinking of me
when you were fucking in outer space?
sadly, it doesn’t matter
because I’ll still love you anyways

Racing to the hospital
driving so hysterical
breathing toxins trapped inside
I am dead and you’re still alive

You must have been kind of crazy
for ever wanting to marry me
now you have lots of money
and you’re the king of optometry

celebrate our honeymoon
I promise I’ll lose weight for you
magic fingers on your spine
I am dead but you’re still alive

The crowd is going wild
Billy is taking a leak
Montana Wildhack is fixing something to eat

Billy, I adore you
I've been so happy for all these years
I’m sorry that I’m a fatty
I can’t stop eating Three Musketeers

Cadillac El Corado Coupe Deville
slumped against the steering wheel
unpleasant moment lodged in time
I am dead and you’re still alive

Cancel the optometrist convention
only one survived
the Sugarbush mountain side
Track Name: Flamethrower
An armchair armada has formed
moving across the floor
you'll have to go around
explosions have blocked the door

Army men melting away
nothing remains for sure
cameras are rolling
following Schwarzenegger


Say something awesome this time
before you kill that guy
you had no trouble coming up with that line

Bad guys are setting up shop
we're sending in Robocop
we are the best of friends
enemies we are not

I'm on fire
you're on fire
everyone is so on fire

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